me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
