So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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