They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
