last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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