I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
