Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
