Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
