seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
