hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
