It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
