that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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