Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sorry my hands just texted you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
