I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are two peas in an std pod
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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