Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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