over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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