I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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