I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
