..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
