I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The cops high fived after they tackled you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
