Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
did i just pee glitter
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
