She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
