to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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