i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
