What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
