He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
