Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
