your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my shit smells like andre
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
