you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
zippers are such a cool invention
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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