Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
