I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
