so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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