Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
