That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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