Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
