Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
