he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have tasted many bathrooms
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
