just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The feeling are messing with the penis
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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