what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
