Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
