In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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