I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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