do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
