we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
