This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
