Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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