Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
third nipple confirmed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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