Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
