I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
