she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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