I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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