Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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