My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
