she looked like the before picture.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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